Some Father's Day Lessons

Father’s Day for me, like most of you fellow dads has taken on a different meaning for me for me as my children have grown older, and this year in particular has me contemplating my legacy as a dad. As a “closing out his 50s” dad with adult children and a third grandchild arriving this fall, I thought it was pretty plain and relatively simple. What more could I learn about being a dad?

What a dumb question.

There is always something new to learn and even more so in this area of life. Somehow, I had to catch up to that very obvious fact.

So here are a few of those not so obvious at the time observations from my world:

Indeed, I did not mind changing our child’s diaper, but my grandchild’s diaper can upset my nose and my day quickly.

Seeing a Braves baseball game with my teenage son was something to relish. But seeing a game with my adult son is a treasure.

Keeping the small box of yogurt-covered raisins in a special pocket where our two-year-old granddaughter knows to look is one thing. Having her parents’ permission to spoil her dinner is another.

Knowing that our adult child does not make the same decision we would make in a given situation does not make their decision wrong. Instead, it makes it theirs and not ours. Keeping quiet without saying, “If you had asked me…” is the foundation to success and peace in that situation and the relationship.

Writing an adult child a letter is a blessing. It multiplies when they write back.

A two-year-old’s hug is not particularly strong. But it is one of the most secure and warming things that has ever been around my neck.

My skills of storytelling and reading aloud of children’s books are remarkably strong. Unfortunately, my ability to sing “Let It Go” from Frozen is not.

Laying down at night next to my wife is one of the best physical and emotional feelings of the day. Laying down next to my wife as my best friend is better.

Watching a young child deal with a thorny issue relative to their age allows me to be their captain and help them. Watching an adult child deal with a thorny adult situation enables me to be their cheerleader, but only when they ask.

As a young person, it is a sign of character that the youngster addresses those they respect with sir or ma’am. Arriving at this age, it is a blessing to be addressed as sir or ma’am.

We raised our family in a tradition that feels right to us. When our children married, we decided that no specific holiday tradition or “it is always what we do” in any family is worth fussing over. Showing love, diplomacy, and grace matters more than any tradition.

Your grandchild will love you because you first loved them. Not because you bought them something.

With all that being said, one of the many joys of my profession as an advisor is to walk side by side with clients, some who are further along their journey as a father, or ones that are just beginning. I love helping them define what their financial future looks like, and guiding them through the challenges that uncertain times bring. It is truly an honor and something that I cherish.

If you have a minute, please consider sending me your father/parenting/grandparenting lessons at [email protected]. I can assure you that I have overlooked more than I have listed.

Happy Father’s Day.